It's about time for a new post... no?
Totally addicted to john legend's album. No idea why. This semester is full with "I don't kno why"'s and alot of weird things.
For instance, I haven't missed a class for just some bull shit reason. This past Tuesday I went to Albany to Student Lobby Day and lobbied against pakati's proposed tax cuts to HEOP and the "reconstruction" of TAP. The two representatives i spoke to were as differeent as night and day. The first one that we saw was a democrat and totally for us. She listened to our sob stories and sed that it does nothing but reinforce why she was there in the first place. She realized how hard it was for college students to graduate without having to worry about financial means of getting by. But the other representative that we spoke to. He was a republican, white middle class american who really didn't seem like he gave a shit we were there. We were told that we weren't going to get to see him but then one of our group leaders saw him trying to sneak in his office when we weren't lookin, so they let us go on anyway. The group chose me to represent the undergraduate population of SU, and so i just went to bicker with this man. He really said this tax cut was insignificant. Don't get me wrong, i know it really is compared to the rest of the budget, but this shit keeps getting cut every year, when is it going to stop?
so i missed a day of classes to tell of a republican. :-D But it was for a good cause, i swear. today i missed hald my class to look @ an apartment. 415 Euclid. like 2 blocks away from campus, it was AWESOME. It's a nice cozy "quaint" apartment. :-D it shelters us and Justine and I snatched it right up. it's a bit steep for 400 but it's included with everything u can think of. So we is chilllin.
There's alot lookig up for me too. I'm just feeling better overall this semester. I'm sleeping a shit load better than i was last semester. Over the break I got an actual break from Syracuse, with the exeption with a few long conversations with mizms and a movie break with the army guys that visited NYC. I really did relax and take time out to think about last semester which really is all a blur for me. I'm sleeping so much better, and looking back I think it my be due to the serious and confusing break up I had. That really did last like 5months. lol. Not to blame the guy, it's not his fault. Shit just happens. My health in general was declining and got so frustrated with organizations and school. I priorizied my shit horridly. LUCHA came first, sleep during the day 2nd, party @ night and school.... i think.
Now, I think i'm maintaining that 4.0 for the semester. Lets not get our hopes up, eventually those papers' and tests will kick in and it'll drop, but for now, it's nice to think that i have a 4.0, lol. The classes i'm taking this semester, i'm really kicking ass in.
LUCHA's there. I'm really excited about the banquet we have no money for. :-D
Personal Life? I think i'm kinda getting selfish when it comes to friends family and etc. lol. My friends are taking a backseat to my work, definitely. After that first week, I've been gonig to bed early and just relaxing. I don't want to smoke up anymore, just because i'm not trying to fuck myself over with drugs. I had dreamt that I snorted coke and i wasn't appreciating that. So I'ma lay off for a while. let the roomies enjoy themselves.
My familia is as drama filled as they can get. But I love them.
I've been going to gym alot. Like 5 times a week. I have motivated and disciplined myself like that :-D I'm happy. lol, omar sez i'm dissapearing before his very eyes. I gotta stop going so much though. I'ma wear myself out.... but it's soooo energizing!! I'm happy I can actually like jog now, and not just "speed walk" lol. I've come a ways... but my sprained ankle from the break is slowing me down yo! boo...
Etc. is still very unclear and scary to say the least. Only seeing one boy now. Not really by force. But i kinda believe after a few months, u have to have some loyalty u kno? If the opportunity arises, i might have to re evaluate things, but unti lthen... john legend ....
"I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow...
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
But as our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay "
as jorge sez: OD, lol
PEACE
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
I have a tendency to make things mine despite it's appropriateness.
It's been an interesting Beginning of the year as i venture into new ground with myself. Taking a look back at the year, I don't think I've ever had such a long ass year. Starting with the feeling of semi independence, never thinking twice about anyone being in my life, and still utter confusion about my major.
After the New Year's celebration of 2004 died down, I had to face the sorrow of letting go of two people in my life that hold the majority of my good times in college, losing them to London. A place I've only dreamt & heard about, only getting as close as a ticket confirmation to actually going. As Ray and Michelle headed to their foreign adventures of euros, pubs and hot guys/girls, I headed into my second relationship with Jose, full blast, everything out in the open ... our semester of 3 day breakups behind us. I got closer with Justine who would become my housemate, Beth, who would soon leave to a much needed escape from "sorry-cuse," Monique, Robin, who would leave me for London too, and of course, enter into LUCHA full blown.
Being in Syracuse without Ray was quite a transition indeed, despite his MIA status the semester he was actually here. I always said, despite him doing him, it was always nice to know that when midterms kicked hard, i can bitch to him, when my bday came I had the opportunity to see him and when his bday came, I had the chance to pound him, lol. For years, (7 to be in exact), no one has rolled eyes at me more than ray has, and for some reason, I was going to miss that. Michelle of course, there's no one else that can compare to our late night sessions of cock-bashing, -30 degree walks to chinook in nothing but a tank top, and kimmel breaks in Newhouse.
The first semester of last year consisted of adjustment. Majority of my time filled up by Jose, when I did take opportunity to chill with others, it occured to me how much of myself i still have'n't explored. My other sexuality itching to come out, my true indifference to weed and of course, trying it for the first time, and my Public Relations job taking up more interest in my life than ASPIRA ever did. It was semester of fake smiles, empty weekend satisfied only by the warmth of the man next to me, and trying to develop a closer friendship with others that my impatience self can't do fast enough.
Then the summer time can 8-). I had my first A in Computer Science.... ever .... Ray n Mich were coming back ( eventually, right Ray? ), and a summer fullfill with 40 hour a week paychecks. of course, with every good thing there's a bad.
My relationship that I'd grown ridiculously accustomed to for 4 months finally came to it's turning point. He was graduating and I was just learning objects. Though I say we broke up in May, our emotions kept our fights and struggles intact well into the fall.
Lessons (Haiku)
choosing to love me
is just like counting the stars
captive, but crazy
Despite all that, I had the crappiest time working in McD's for the first month, but it paid my first months rent, lol. Now that Jose had got back to syracuse to finish wat he started and I had a new place to hang out and meet people, it was the beginning of a fresh start. As with most jobs, it was quiet for me at first, but with time, everyone there were mad cool, and I already had a crush ;-) in CR. moving on physically is seperate from moving on emotionally ... of course. There was a slight detour with my trip up to Syracuse with Monique and Ray, that would of course, be the cause of the demise of a few friendships. Jose and I decided to take a friendship to a whole new level, lol.
ANd of course, we cannot forget the Memorable Harold and Kumar movie that never made fast
food the same again. We saw it in Syracuse during our trip, and when ray and i got home, the only thing we could think of doing? Going to White Castle, so we made the journey to 125th, east side, from da bronx
Ray satisfying his White Castle Crave
Kumar and I sharing a moment at White Castle
Not only that, it gave me some money in the pocket to party with my boootyful friends :-)
All in all, despite late night conversations fulled with tears and laughter, that summer was an adventurous one indeed.
Fall 2004
I sometimes like to put titles on things that happen in my life "The Era of ..." "The Beginning of ...", personally i like to overuse the word Era.
This semester was the semester of truths. THe harsh realities of wat life can really throw at you when you get careless. I won't go into it because i don't like reminicing about bad stuffus, but wat came out of it, was a stronger me... i think. My self control went from non exisent, to high on guard. My typical heart break was more of a soul breaking, and of course, the infatuation gone mad ... might be still going ...
along with the ultimate shoula woulda couldas. If only I had known what could have been...
Ironically, i have less memories to share this past semester than the summer and spring... but i think it'sunderstandable...
SO LONG FOLKS!
Zulay
It's been an interesting Beginning of the year as i venture into new ground with myself. Taking a look back at the year, I don't think I've ever had such a long ass year. Starting with the feeling of semi independence, never thinking twice about anyone being in my life, and still utter confusion about my major.
After the New Year's celebration of 2004 died down, I had to face the sorrow of letting go of two people in my life that hold the majority of my good times in college, losing them to London. A place I've only dreamt & heard about, only getting as close as a ticket confirmation to actually going. As Ray and Michelle headed to their foreign adventures of euros, pubs and hot guys/girls, I headed into my second relationship with Jose, full blast, everything out in the open ... our semester of 3 day breakups behind us. I got closer with Justine who would become my housemate, Beth, who would soon leave to a much needed escape from "sorry-cuse," Monique, Robin, who would leave me for London too, and of course, enter into LUCHA full blown.
Being in Syracuse without Ray was quite a transition indeed, despite his MIA status the semester he was actually here. I always said, despite him doing him, it was always nice to know that when midterms kicked hard, i can bitch to him, when my bday came I had the opportunity to see him and when his bday came, I had the chance to pound him, lol. For years, (7 to be in exact), no one has rolled eyes at me more than ray has, and for some reason, I was going to miss that. Michelle of course, there's no one else that can compare to our late night sessions of cock-bashing, -30 degree walks to chinook in nothing but a tank top, and kimmel breaks in Newhouse.
The first semester of last year consisted of adjustment. Majority of my time filled up by Jose, when I did take opportunity to chill with others, it occured to me how much of myself i still have'n't explored. My other sexuality itching to come out, my true indifference to weed and of course, trying it for the first time, and my Public Relations job taking up more interest in my life than ASPIRA ever did. It was semester of fake smiles, empty weekend satisfied only by the warmth of the man next to me, and trying to develop a closer friendship with others that my impatience self can't do fast enough.
Then the summer time can 8-). I had my first A in Computer Science.... ever .... Ray n Mich were coming back ( eventually, right Ray? ), and a summer fullfill with 40 hour a week paychecks. of course, with every good thing there's a bad.
My relationship that I'd grown ridiculously accustomed to for 4 months finally came to it's turning point. He was graduating and I was just learning objects. Though I say we broke up in May, our emotions kept our fights and struggles intact well into the fall.
Lessons (Haiku)
choosing to love me
is just like counting the stars
captive, but crazy
Despite all that, I had the crappiest time working in McD's for the first month, but it paid my first months rent, lol. Now that Jose had got back to syracuse to finish wat he started and I had a new place to hang out and meet people, it was the beginning of a fresh start. As with most jobs, it was quiet for me at first, but with time, everyone there were mad cool, and I already had a crush ;-) in CR. moving on physically is seperate from moving on emotionally ... of course. There was a slight detour with my trip up to Syracuse with Monique and Ray, that would of course, be the cause of the demise of a few friendships. Jose and I decided to take a friendship to a whole new level, lol.
Jose and Ray expressing their love for me in our Summer Trip to da Cuse, touching aint it?
ANd of course, we cannot forget the Memorable Harold and Kumar movie that never made fast
food the same again. We saw it in Syracuse during our trip, and when ray and i got home, the only thing we could think of doing? Going to White Castle, so we made the journey to 125th, east side, from da bronx
Ray satisfying his White Castle Crave
Kumar and I sharing a moment at White Castle
Then came the working age of Charlotte Russe (CR).
CR had provided me with the simple luxury of starting over in a whole new environment, a glimpse of what I can do in Syracuse, a place where I'm more comfortable. CR, a retail store was the #1 CR store in the country. I came into the most competitive, fastest stellar sellers in the country, and I was striving to make my place in a world full of fashion, fake smiles, and pretend knowledge of color schemes.
Not only that, it gave me some money in the pocket to party with my boootyful friends :-)
Tipsy on the train on a hot summer day
All in all, despite late night conversations fulled with tears and laughter, that summer was an adventurous one indeed.
Fall 2004
I sometimes like to put titles on things that happen in my life "The Era of ..." "The Beginning of ...", personally i like to overuse the word Era.
This semester was the semester of truths. THe harsh realities of wat life can really throw at you when you get careless. I won't go into it because i don't like reminicing about bad stuffus, but wat came out of it, was a stronger me... i think. My self control went from non exisent, to high on guard. My typical heart break was more of a soul breaking, and of course, the infatuation gone mad ... might be still going ...
along with the ultimate shoula woulda couldas. If only I had known what could have been...
Ironically, i have less memories to share this past semester than the summer and spring... but i think it'sunderstandable...
SO LONG FOLKS!
Zulay
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Ever feel like something's not completely right... but rather your on the verge of losing it, and your just waiting for someone to do something stupid just so that you release all your anger out on them? THat's kinda how I feel right about now.
I feel like there's a huge gap between last year's class and this year's incoming class, with regards to student activity. Last night and there were zip sophmores and 1.1% juniors and 2.1% seniors. 2.2% alumni and 94.7% freshman. Like, seriously, it's been this way for a minute. Somethings' up with that.
I hate the fact that my heart still jumps when I see you online. I dislike that feeling immensely. I'd like it to go away.
I'd like to start from scratch if I could coming back next semester. This sesmter was by far the worst of my college career. And i'm not the only one that feels like that either. BOO. Dare I say.... can it get any worse?
But lets not complain. I'm still alive... I had some great memories to make up for alot. Met more people than i woulda thought.
I saw people more times this weekend than i've seen all semester. It was weird. But i was ok with it. thanks god... which is more than i can say about one girl in particular. You a damn sophmore buddy.... time to stop acting like a 2 year old and stop giving me dirty looks. meanie.
ok.... WORK!!!!!!! AHHHHHH
Count down till going home begins.....
paz
Zu
I feel like there's a huge gap between last year's class and this year's incoming class, with regards to student activity. Last night and there were zip sophmores and 1.1% juniors and 2.1% seniors. 2.2% alumni and 94.7% freshman. Like, seriously, it's been this way for a minute. Somethings' up with that.
I hate the fact that my heart still jumps when I see you online. I dislike that feeling immensely. I'd like it to go away.
I'd like to start from scratch if I could coming back next semester. This sesmter was by far the worst of my college career. And i'm not the only one that feels like that either. BOO. Dare I say.... can it get any worse?
But lets not complain. I'm still alive... I had some great memories to make up for alot. Met more people than i woulda thought.
I saw people more times this weekend than i've seen all semester. It was weird. But i was ok with it. thanks god... which is more than i can say about one girl in particular. You a damn sophmore buddy.... time to stop acting like a 2 year old and stop giving me dirty looks. meanie.
ok.... WORK!!!!!!! AHHHHHH
Count down till going home begins.....
paz
Zu
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