Thanksgiving Week....week cuz i left last monday not wednesday like everyone else.

Last week, Monday rolled around, I woke up to about 3 phone calls, 13 emails, and 5000 bills I haven't paid. I took one look in the mirror and I told myself, I need to go home.

I called a few people, see if they could squeeze me into a car earlier than Wednesday with no luck. So i used my last resort and called my mom. She heard my voice and I sed to go to Greyhound and put it on the familu credit card - "Just get home TONIGHT" So i did.

Before that though, I needed to leave with a clean slate in regards to a few aspects in my life. I handled my financial situation, I did my organization stuff, I told one of my friends something i'd been holding back from her for so long (which btw, ended better than I expected), and let go of a guy that in any other place or time frame I wouldn't have put on pause so quickly. Blessing and a curse in disguise.... i hope. I hate missing out on grand opportunities for new experiences and adventures. It was so hard to do everything I needed to do in less than 6 hours before I had to pack up and leave behind the fall semester to go home, and pick up where I left off this summer. Going home for me this Thanksgiving was like going back in time, back to the end of the summer before everything that happened this semester happened. Not that I could ever forget, for I had constant reminders in my heart, body, and mind. But the difference was, I could go back to a place where I was unconditionally loved.

I always manage to forget how that feels when I come to the cuse. Not to put down any of my friends or anything. It's never about them, it's about me. My self esteem and worth manages to get tested and I... I always manage to fail. Going home reminds me that there will be people to go home to. THe one thought that keeps me up at night is that these people won't be around forever. Who will be there when my family is gone?

Anyway, enough of that. It was a good week overall. I went back to Charlotte Russe (CR) to fill out rehire paper work and ended up working that same day, lol. Can we say desperate? I always felt appreciated in that store. I felt like more of team there, than i ever did in McDonald's. A bit silly of me to think, i know. My managers all took advantage of me and made me stay for a full 8 hours that day. THen to work a 10 hours shift on BLACK FRIDAY. I never seen so many people in that store on one day!! our average sale number in a day is like 35,000.... we made 75,000 that day alone!!!! I helped :-) lol.

Of course after my 10 hour shift, did I go home? fuck no!! I went to One Fish, Two Fish, otherwise known as "The Fish" to my sister and her crew. She calls me up just as i'm leaving CR and tells me to meet here there in 20 minutes. Of course, being the tired fucker i was like... i was like OK! It was my first experiece in a real live bar, with a crowd at least 10 years older than me, and it was fun as fuck! fortunately my sister knew people in this spot since she's a regular. It's like her Cheers! Everyone knows her name. So naturally, she introduces me as her sister, and here comes the free drinks!! :-D I got sooooooo trashed. i loved it. let's hear it for Red Devils!! I met this boy named Ray. this boy was like 30 something btw. Catherine doll (the sister) told me that he's a regular at the fish but never really spoke to him. He apperantly was intrigued with my hair when he then tried to stroke and i'm like, no no no - the hair is sacred, lol. I was so drunk by then. Gave me his number and stuff. It was funny cuz i'm like, yea, i wont be back for 3 weeks, and i'm def. at least 10 years younger than yea... IT AINT GONNA WORK BUDDY. but hey, let's suck this weel dry shall we?Get him to buy me drink until he realizes it aint gonna happen :-D Cute, but evil :-D

The ride back to Syracuse was a fun but dreaded one :-\. Coming back to Syracuse meant coming back to face the situations! boo. It was the first time I left home in 3 years that I teared up. My nephew said bye to me and sed "I wish you weren't so smart, so you can stay here and teach me to be smart like you. THen I can go with you to college" my heart broke. My nephew is the one man in my life that I'm absolutely sure that I will love forever and ever.... and who's worth it. :-) Justin Tyler Olivo...

So it took us fucking 7 hours to get back up here. While johnny punched buggied Justine so many times and we moved @ 5 mph, I had some time to think and finish readin my book. My first book by Esmerelda Santiago. (wasn't too impressed btw, i'll give her one chance). We went to iHop were our waiter was no older than 16 with braces. Latino, and not to be unnoticed, I left him a nice tip for being too cute. You could tell he was nervous , so either it was his first day, our Justine and I exuded too much beauty for him to handle. lol. I was tempted to write my number down on the bill i left, but I sed nah.... that would be silly. Silly thoughts run through my head all the time.

I erased a few numbers in my phone book this weekend. It's kinda weird. I was drunk doing it of course. Don't let friend drink and dial people. I'm through with that shit. I feel bad afterwards, but i'm glad now that it's not anything too severe. I've decided that the call I made on Friday was a silly and pointless call. but just a pretense of what might happened if I had gotten drunk and been sad about it. Oh boy. So to spare people of my silliness, i've spared them of their name in my book. Doesn't mean i'm blocking them, cuz please believe, if one of these cats actually calls me, i'm sure as hell picking up! lol. But drunk, i'm lucky if i can find my own feet let alone a number!

ok, time to do work. There's my blog. PEACE.