Religion has dramatically changed from the generation of our parents, to what we teach our children. Personally, being Catholic was presented as the important thing to do, after working in my household. As a very young child, my parents, particularly my mother, insisted on attending church every Sunday, ensuring we gave a "proper" amount of contribution to the church and was adamant about my baptism and first communion. With this, came the changing of
Titi (aunt) and
Tio (uncle) to
Padrino (Godfather) and
Padrina (Godmother) which was made clear the important distinction between the two and the respects to pay for both of them.
Then, life happened. We hit hard times and the recession of the 80s effected us in more ways than one. Our neighborhood noticeably became run down and worn out, our building suddenly wasn't as up kept as it once was and for me, my father could no longer afford to bring home a treat to every night after work. In fact, one day my father explained that he no longer had work to go to.
How does this effect religion you ask? Well, first what doesn't effect religion? During this time, I was finishing up my first communion and I remember no longer having to sit through all 2 hours of service because though we wanted continue attending church we didn't want to face the humiliation of having to pass the basket, having nothing to offer. So we left before they were passed. A shortcut in religion, if you will - not the best lesson to learn at my impressionable age (no fault to my family).
Years later, despite many reasons why I shouldn't bother to care about it, I find myself realizing that at the most difficult times of my life, I found comfort in prayer. I remember once in HS, during a drama that obviously consisted of a boy that didn't like me back, my prayers for that semester started the same: "I know I haven't spoken to you in a while, but I really need your help..." Its funny how we consider finding solace in a higher being requires an exchange of value of some sort - whether its contributions in a little envelope with a cross on it, an hour a week half listening to a sermon or even daily conversations repeating a bunch of words that most people never bother to
read into beyond its face value.
What worse, is that even though my generation (hello 20-somethings) still have the remnents of religion and what it can bring to our lives, many of us offer religion as an option to our children. Though my nephew was baptized and did his first communion like me, as his opinions begain to grow, the importance of religion in his life was no longer forced upon him. Now don't get me wrong, I see both sides of this: (1) I appreciate the comfort prayer has given me, even leading me to research more and going back to church briefly during a slightly more serious traumic time in college, however my religion was given to me as an identifier and then as quickly as it was a big part of my life, it proved to be expendable in the face of hardship, lowering its value. (2) If we force religion to much on our children, how much would they be willing to rebel once they realize, God isn't going to help them get into the school they want to go to, or help them pass a test, or hit the game winning homerun?
How do we give them an option of what to believe, belief in a structure and accepting guidance of the moral character of a seemingly unrealistic and unattainable perfect higher being - while attempting to get the main point across of most religions: you must believe in yourself.
After all, if no one else, the first person that answers you when praying or meditating, tends to be you. Religion is there as a guide, but it's up to you to live your life.
Z
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
